meet robbie. meet invisible world.

re: May 21 rapture

I’m not surprised nor disappointed that may 21 didn’t see the rapture. I am only saddened that when presented with the most influential book of all time, a group of individuals could look past all the subtle nuance, beautiful prose and incredible rhetoric; to instead only infer some bullshit about knowing when the world was going to end. May we all learn to devote our energy to cultivating God’s beautiful earth rather than anticipating it’s demise.

Doesn’t matter whether you read creationism or evolutionary theory. Creation is now. God has called us to be his/her co-labourers in making a better earth, now. Different theories, same truth. The real question: is this god the Christian God or mere metaphor; do we have the power to make a better kingdom on earth or is this the role of natural selection? #ichoosejesus #myopinion

just another hobo.

one of my lovely followers on twitter just asked me a hypothetical: “would you rather be raped by a hobo, rape a hobo, or be a hobo that rapes people”. what a humorous conundrum. the word ‘hobo’ is so descriptive, has so many connotations, so much imagery.

[edit: the above paragraph is entirely sarcastic. apologies to anyone offended. homelessness is NOT funny. sexual abuse is a HORRIBLE evil and should not be joked about. i honestly felt physically ill typing the opening line, this blog marks the first and last time i use the word ‘hobo’. thanks to those who’ve made the effort to point out my ignorance on this whole topic; i’ve entirely misrepresented and over-simplified a very complex issue. i’ll leave this blog here though as it’s driven me to a steep learning curve. thanks also to those readers who know me well enough to read past my ignorance and embrace whatever good my sentiment contained.]

in other news, last night i got to know a man named matt as we drank some quality vegetable soup on flinders street. he’s hit his middle age- the old hairs are starting to thin out and the beard’s a little dense. he speaks proudly of his 11 year old son and 10 year old daughter. he’s a self taught leather-worker and brags about an art display which features his craft. he sometimes sells his pieces but refuses to allow finance to be his motivator as his artistic integrity is worth more to him than that.

he tells me that God is good and he knows it. matt cares for people, he even prays for others. he knows the bible and it’s message more than most Christians i meet. he thanks God in the morning that he’s able to participate in life.

but matt’s got another routine in the morning. see, for as long as he can recall, he’s started the day by filling the glass by his bed. throughout the day he continues to top up the glass with that bitter-sweet drink, the cause and the antidote to all his problems.

a zealous story-teller, he gets suddenly serious as he speaks of minor (but always awful) sexual abuse as a child; but even makes a positive of this, as he says it motivates him to want the best for his children.

but he knows that in spite of these good intentions, so long as he keeps pouring goon into that glass each morning, he won’t be the good father to his children. who he longs to be. he won’t be the father they deserve. and right then and there, for the first time in my short years, I witness and identify the torturous anguish of a father who has let his children down and knows it. a father who knows that he needs to change, but day by day fails to do so.

and I think at that point something in me changed. that little something which might have allowed me to laugh at a ‘hobo’ joke; gone. sure matt’s not actually entirely homeless, he has a bed in a little place in the suburbs. but he relies on food vans to eat, on the government for money to keep a roof over his head. his mouth is short of a few teeth. he’s not participating in the economy and he’s dependent on others. if you saw him as you walked past you would probably assume he was part of that smaller percentage who sleep rough. ‘just another hobo’.

i don’t write this to put down Nicole for asking the question at the top. the homeless are just one minority group, who I happen to be sensitive to since a few of them have shared their stories with me. but know that i fail to understand people all the time. i stereotype, i judge, i joke at other people’s expense. it’s easy to do.

i guess i just want to challenge you, and to remind myself, to look to the people behind the stereotypes and shallow judgements. real people who want to belong, to be accepted and loved. just like you and me. go out of your way to hear the stories of the people you wouldn’t normally hang out with. the people who life left behind a little at some point. be prepared to learn from these people. even if it’s for no other reason than because you’ll be a better person for it. and know that your story is and will be worth telling.

UnChristian. Antihomosexual. and other scary words.

I’ve created a ‘formspring’ account. This is simply a site where people can ask me questions, anonymously if they wish, and I can choose which ones I answer. About a week in, someone asked the simple question ‘opinions on gay people?’. There are 1000 or so words below, which hopefully resemble some sort of an answer! I decided to blog this answer, not just because of the topic’s importance in my life, but because I’ve come to realize its importance in society and the church! I’m reading a brilliant book, which all Christians should read, titled ‘UnChristian’. In one statistic it points out that of the Americans interviewed, who were all between 16-41 years old, 91% of those who don’t attend church view church as being ‘Antihomosexual’. This is in fact the most common of any perception that these Americans have of the church. So along with this perception, Christians are seen as being haters, judgmental and narrow-minded. And as much as it saddens me to say it, a lot of the time these words are all too true!!

I’d like to first say that I really haven’t had the opportunity to make many gay friends, so this is a very difficult topic for me. Whereas I can attach a face and a friend’s story to most minority groups, on this topic I am a little emotionally detached. Chances are you have more first-hand experience than myself, so please read to the bottom and I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences or concerns!

I typed a whole lot here, but then felt that I should use the following true story instead. Tony Campolo, a well known Christian author and pastor, tells the story of a boy who went to his school who was bullied for being a homosexual. After sport class, the boys would all shower and then force their gay peer to shower alone. As he got out of the shower they would hurt and humiliate him by whipping him with their wet towels. One week, when Tony wasn’t actually present, four of the boys took their bullying to a new low. As their gay classmate got out of the shower, the boys urinated on him; violently stealing what little dignity he had held onto. In the middle of the following night, overcome by fear and the feeling of zero hope, the boy walked down into his basement. As he found a rope, he tied a noose, and took his own life.

There’s a few reasons why I shared this story. It helps to show just how horribly serious this topic is. I first watched the story on a dvd with my mate Ben at around 3am one morning, we were both absolutely lost for words.  It was a time when I realized that the issue around homosexuals is not one of abstract theory, fun moral debates or even a topic to joke about. It can mean the world to someone and can actually destroy lives.

The important thing is what Tony said next. “At that point, I knew I wasn’t a Christian”.  Despite going to church his whole life, when he found out his classmate had killed himself, Tony knew he wasn’t a true Christian.  He could have easily made excuses- he wasn’t actually there when they urinated on the boy, he would have made himself vulnerable to bullying if he ever stood up for the boy etc. But Tony knew that if he was truly committed to being a follower of Jesus, he would have done something about the bullying.

That’s the point I want to make. Being a Christian isn’t about simply ‘tolerating’ people whose lifestyle choices you don’t agree with, about avoiding conflict with these people or having unspoken agreements to stay away from each other. In order to be a true follower of Jesus I need to be actively making myself aware of the many injustices in the world, and bringing about justice by loving the people who are suffering because of those injustices. This is perhaps the very hardest and most rewarding calling.

So what does the bible say about the whole thing??

Here’s the point where I get really blunt for a moment. I do believe gay sex is wrong. I also believe sex between a man and woman outside of marriage is wrong. I believe that they both separate us from the plan that God shows us at the very start of the bible- where a man and a woman are created to love each other in a permanent monogamous relationship. But these beliefs are irrelevant.

There’s a story in the bible, in the book of John, of a bunch of legalistic religious people who brought a woman to Jesus. The woman had been caught in the act of adultery- sleeping with a man she shouldn’t have been with. So the religious tradition (but not the Roman law at the time) said that a woman caught in adultery should be stoned to death (they bury the woman up to her shoulders, stand in a circle and throw stones at her head). They asked Jesus whether they should follow the religious law, so he said ‘All right’. BUT then he said, “let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone”. And of course at that point all the men walked off and Jesus let the woman go free. Jesus didn’t try to debate whether or not the woman’s actions were wrong. We can assume that he would agree that in fact they were wrong. His point was that it’s not up to us as religious individuals to be in the business of judging others!

The textbook, politically correct, Christian answer to the gay discussion, says ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’. But here’s the tough part. In the story above, as well as so many others, Jesus tells us to ‘love the sinner, and hate our own sin’. As soon as I am free of all sin, I can throw as many stones as I like! Sadly I’m guilty of throwing stones (not literally kids; throwing around judgments and wisecracks) when I haven’t even begun to cleanse myself of all sin!

All throughout the bible we are told that all sin is equally bad, as sin is anything that separates us from God. We’re told that ever since Adam and Eve chose to eat the ‘bad’ apple, every single person is detached from God and we all need his help in learning to follow His way instead of our own. Yet for some reason we allow ourselves to still believe that some sins are worse than others. That some are less forgivable than others. And, as much as I hate to say it, we allow ourselves to think that we are better people than others.

So in closing, I want to apologise to anyone who is reading this who has been affected, bullied, or marginalised for their own same sex attraction or that of someone they love. I haven’t been seeking tension between Christians and gays. But to be completely honest I am homophobic- the whole thing really does weird me out! I guess I’ve realized that I nurture that fear of the unknown more than I pray to be relieved of it!

I feel sick to the stomach when I see those crazy Christians on TV yelling ‘God hates gays’ etc. But in spite of this I don’t go out of my way to help gay people, to find ways to show them that God in fact doesn’t hate them at all and desperately wants them to know love in it’s fullness. The opportunities don’t seem to present themselves to me so I leave it as an issue for someone else to address. In this I am selfish. I’m too proud at times to look for ways to associate myself with people who are often considered outcasts. And this pride separates me from the plan that God has for my life. It is a sin. So here’s the irony- for this pride and selfishness I need to ask God for his grace and forgiveness just as much as every other person does!

home.

I sit at the dining table in the house I’ve called home all my life.

‘Copeland’ plays on my sister’s stereo. This is so significant, as just yesterday I was driving the highways of New Zealand listening to this same music with the most amazing girl. A girl who couldn’t possibly have shown me more love in the (way too) short time we spent together.

She messaged as I was on the plane saying thanks. We’re determined to make the experience a positive one; it was and will be. She hopes I’m not too ‘confused’.

But i’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. Disjointed, displaced. More so than I’ve ever felt in this family home. I know this feeling from my little experience of mourning. I speak fondly of this old friend as my family begs for stories and photos. I reminisce on days passed.

I long for the simple lifestyle found in New Zealand. My friends tell me that if you actually live there you must work and pay bills and everything’s not so perfect. For now I choose to disagree. Gold does not tarnish. It’s like Australia is a consistent lover but New Zealand is the most amazing and loyal mistress.

Just now an advertisement popped up on my screen for Apple’s new product. It’s of no interest to me. Despite being an iMac, MacBook and iPod user, in this rare moment I know it all means nothing. My inner-romantic asks what good is a tablet computer while the Tasman Sea holds me from the person I want to see. My conscious tells me that the most welcoming and contented people I met in New Zealand valued people so much more than possessions. The love I found in my poverty-stricken friends in Papua New Guinea taught this lesson so well.

And despite this, every time I most look forward to getting home to my drum kit and my car. Maybe this lesson is slowly learned.

So why am I sharing all of this? They say the most dehumanising thing about being homeless is losing the distinction between public and private. Yet right now I’m sitting at home, starting a blog and inviting you into the private. It’s because I want you to know that despite all the exciting and wonderful things I do and brag about and tweet about, right now I’m missing someone. And in many ways I’m missing the point- by over-looking the innumerable loving people who surround me. What’s more, I know an amazing God is on my side but moment-by-moment I’m thinking of myself and not inviting him into this.

So here’s to honesty. You’ve probably just returned to school or work or your less-preferred parent’s house and maybe you’re also feeling displaced, alone. Maybe you wake to this feeling every day. But you’re staying strong, getting on with life.

And despite this, I’m allowing myself to feel justified in sitting at home and planning to not leave for as many hours or days as I can. I’m being selfish- indulging in time alone and denying the call of the real world. I’m being childish- grasping a hold of the hope that I might wake up in another land, with a big bank balance and a freezer load of magnums fighting for my attention. And I’m being completely ignorant of all the amazing friends who I will thoroughly enjoy catching up with in days to come. Maybe I’m choosing to ‘mourn’. Maybe I am more confused than i’ll ever know.

P.S. I’ll try to make the next blog short and funny and light. This one was for me. Thanks.